Letting Butter Talk

Hey blog readers. It's me, Butter. I know you haven't heard from me in so long you probably thought I disappeared. But nope, I'm still here. I've just been really busy lately. And a bit down in the dumps, too.

You're probably wondering why.

It's because in addition to guarding the house from mailmen and other potentially evil intruders, going to work with Conservative Boy every afternoon, and barking at squirrels in the backyard, I now spend hours upon hours each day running away from this little creature Julie and Conservative Boy brought home 10 months ago.

I don't know where he came from or why he's here, but he can leave at any time. Seriously, this kid drives me crazy.

It was bad enough when he was really little. He didn't move or  do anything interesting back then, except it seemed like he cried all the time. He'd cry when we were awake and he'd cry when we were asleep and I never thought I'd hear the end of it.

But then I realized maybe that wasn't so bad. Because now he doesn't cry so much, but he jabbers and yells nonstop. This kid never shuts up.

Plus he doesn't just lay around anymore. He chases me everywhere I go. I can't get a moment's peace when he's around, because he's always trying to steal my bone or grab my tail or pull on my ears. I get up and move and he just follows me.

 He's also always trying to get my water bowl in the bathroom and my food dish in the kitchen, so most of the time I can't even get at these things anymore because Julie puts them up on the counter so they're out of the little monster's way.

And don't get me started on the fact that now he's trying to share space in front of my window. My window, people. This is getting out of hand.

As if things couldn't get any worse, there's also the fact that all the people who used to come over and see me and shower me with attention hardly notice me because they're too busy holding the little monster and kissing him and saying how cute he is. And Julie probably spends one fourth of the time she used to petting me, because she's always making food or chasing the baby around or rocking him or doing a million other things that don't have to do with me.

On the bright side, we do all go for walks together most evenings, and when the little monster is in his stroller he's not so bad. And maybe someday if he learns to pet me rather than just grabbing my hair, I won't mind him quite so much.

Julie keeps telling me that someday soon we'll be lifelong friends. I just don't know if I can believe that. This kid has totally changed my world. That much change in less than a year just can't be good for a dog.

Morosely,
Butter

P.S. If this sad tale has anyone wanting to come over and make me feel better, please try to stop by on Monday, Wednesday, or Friday mornings. That's when I am home guarding the house and the little monster is at day care, so he won't get in the way.