Letting C.B. Talk

I figured that if I let Butter yap away on my blog, I should at least give Conservative Boy a few minutes of time here. Unfortunately, you won't get a mug shot of C.B. to accompany his statements because he has barred me from posting any images of him here. (I think I heard him mutter that he's worried his beauty won't translate on the computer screen; but don't tell him I told you that.)

So, without further ado, I share with you two things C.B. said in the last 24 hours. I think they'll give you a very nice glimpse into the soul of this character I happen to live with (who convinced me yesterday, by the way, that it was a good idea to buy a king-size bed—how did I fall for that?):

"I am like a precious ruby staring you in the face that you think is a rock."

What a gem. You only wish I made that up. I just laughed so hard as I typed it that I snorted.

"I had a real kid sister and I wanted to kick her in the head." (Comment made after I started singing "Kid sister, kid sister, wherever I go she goes ..." as I made my morning coffee. Don't ask me why.)

Disclaimer: As far as I know, C.B. has never and will never kick his sister or any other woman in the head. But as a boy, he undoubtedly threatened his li'l sis with all sorts of bodily harm. Isn't that what boys do?

Wait a second—this reminds me that C.B.'s sister does not have a name. (Well, in real life she does but not here.) I've decided I can't call her Conservative Sister because she hates it when we talk about politics and even if she may be conservative doesn't really want to get involved with all that nonsense. So, rather than calling her Conservative Sister, what should I call her?

Quote-Worthy Moments

Why not share an inspiring or entertaining quote or anecdote on occasion? Here's today's, which a coworker of mine stumbled upon:

"I'm a big believer in mulch. I don't know how I survived without long underwear, flannel sheets, and mulch."

Amen to that. The rest of the article is serious, but I just love a good lede.